So, you're sitting there, wondering is eloping is a good fit for you and your partners love story.

Trying to decipher the ins and outs of eloping can be a tough one. Some of us know from the get go that this is the avenue we want to take, other couples are split down the middle and the rest of us are over here like, "Shit...What do we do? Is this for us?"

For all of y'all sitting and questioning things, heeey!

For the madly in love
& wild at heart

Telling your story,
the way you see fit

Should we elope? | How to decide if eloping fits your love story

I'm Sh'Tara Lynn, your go-to elopement photographer for those who want to throw tradition right out the window (or are exploring this idea) and dance their asses all the way to 'I do'!

When it comes to eloping, everyone has there reasons as to why it sounds appealing to them or might be a good fit. There are about a hundred reason why and THEY ARE ALL VALID!

Let's get into it hunny and help you settle your mind.

- How to start planning your elopement -

- How to start planning your - elopement

An Elopement Story: from Yours truly

Ooooh, looky there, that's me and my baby!!!! When we first started planning our wedding it was so wildly stressful. This was in 2017 and elopements weren't necessarily fawned over like they are now.

We were young little baby 20-year-olds, money was non-existent in our lives and we weren't going to have any financial family help. Our dream idea for a wedding started to come together and as the numbers for everything started to tally up, we had to take a sobering look at our reality. It would take us FOREVER (an over exaggeration that felt so real at the time) to save up money to afford a traditional wedding.

This led us to a place where we had to take a step back and look at what we valued. For us it was being together, having people there who put in effort to be there and minimal attention on us. Looking back, I literally have no idea why a traditional wedding was ever on the table for us.

There were so many things that we valued and that wasn't translating into our marriage journey. We didn't want to have to entertain people, we didn't want a ton of eyes on us, we wanted to spend the day with those we loved most and that wanted to show up for us and we wanted to be at the beach.

It is soooo important that your values and needs align with the way you are choosing to say 'I do'.

Reason #1 - you want to save some money

The cost of a traditional wedding here in the US is going up drastically. According to "The Knot", the average cost of a wedding in 2023 was $35,000. That's up 16.67% compared to the year prior.

THAT'S A WHOLE ASS CAR!!! In some cases, that's half a car! It is so hard to come in under $15,000 these days and not

have to sacrifice major wants and needs. Hell, maybe the cost of a traditional wedding is ridiculous to you all together.

For all of you out there that just look at that number and now have to console your sobbing, weeping bank account, I feel you, especially if your wedding is coming out of your own pocket.

There are some couples that go into debt to have their dream wedding. Is that something that YOU AND YOU PARTNER are wanting to do if push comes to shove? To start off your marriage and the rest of forever together going into the hole? If the answer is no, then eloping might be for you.

The cost of a traditional wedding here in the US is going up drastically. According to "The Knot", the average cost of a wedding in 2023 was $35,000. That's up 16.67% compared to the year prior.

THAT'S A WHOLE ASS CAR!!! In some cases, that's half a car! It is so hard to come in under $15,000 these days and not have to sacrifice major wants and needs. Hell, maybe the cost of a traditional wedding is ridiculous to you all together.

For all of you out there that just look at that number and now have to console your sobbing, weeping bank account, I feel you, especially if your wedding is coming out of your own pocket.

There are some couples that go into debt to have their dream wedding. Is that something that YOU AND YOU PARTNER are wanting to do if push comes to shove? To start off your marriage and the rest of forever together going into the hole? If the answer is no, then eloping might be for you.

Okay, so maybe money isn't your obstacle, but the thought of placing all of your money into a huge party is the part the puts your into a full-stop. Do you think about pouring your cash into props, decor and feeding an army and it kinda doesn't sit right with your values?

Just because you aren't looking to spend $35,000

Reason #2 - You and your partner want an experience

on a traditional wedding, that doesn't mean you aren't looking to have a meaningful, fun-filled and intentional day with your partner.

The desire to have memories and experiences come out of all your planning and financial contributions is valid! And if this is something you value, that a traditional wedding might not be it for you hunny.

For many couples out there, eloping checks multiple boxes; you get to celebrate your love story, create memories that will last a lifetime, experience something new and welcome in "forever" in-style!

Okay, so maybe money isn't your obstacle, but the thought of placing all of your money into a huge party is the part the puts your into a full-stop. Do you think about pouring your cash into props, decor and feeding an army and it kinda doesn't sit right with your values?

Just because you aren't looking to spend $35,000 on a traditional wedding, that doesn't mean you aren't looking to have a meaningful, fun-filled and intentional day with your partner.

The desire to have memories and experiences come out of all your planning and financial contributions is valid! And if this is something you value, that a traditional wedding might not be it for you hunny.

For many couples out there, eloping checks multiple boxes; you get to celebrate your love story, create memories that will last a lifetime, experience something new and welcome in "forever" in-style!

Reason #3 - You want privacy & intimacy

This is a big-ass breaking point for a lot of couples out there. For me personally, the thought of 200 people watching my partner and I as we exchanged vows felt terrifying. Ultimately, this was a massive deciding factor when it came to a traditional wedding vs. eloping.

The want/need for privacy and intimacy doesn't just extend to eyes being on you at all times. Sometimes it's about wanting to experience the day with your person and no one else, while other times it's a comfortability thing. You also have all the freedom in the world to plan and do something that was designed for you and your partner.

Whatever the reason is, if privacy and creating an intimate space together is a value of yours, than eloping is right up your alley.

Authenticity means that you are being true to your values, you live according to your beliefs and you are able to show up as exactly who you are.

There are so many people out there that want certain things to be a part of their day or don't want to complete / participate in

worry about fitting in a box. It symbolizes choosing themselves and all that they hold near and dear instead of choosing the desires of others.

So let's say goodbye to trying to fit into a pre-fabricated box that we were never meant to fit into anyways, and do what the hell we want. Be true to yourself and watch the endless possibilities open up in front of you!

Reason #4 - You crave something authentic to you + your partner

certain "traditions" because they don't agree with them or believe in them. The reality here is that pressure and judgement from others can weigh heavy on you, but you don't have to throw out being true to yourself to appease these people.

Being an Oregonian, I see many couples come to me and they mention wanting to smoke some weed on their elopement day. Other couples have wanted spiritual ceremonies that their religious family members didn't agree with. All of these expectations can make it damn near impossible to even want a traditional wedding to begin with.

Choosing to elope for many couples results in the freedom to be themselves without having to worry about fitting in a box. It symbolizes choosing themselves and all that they hold near and dear instead of choosing the desires of others.

So let's say goodbye to trying to fit into a pre-fabricated box that we were never meant to fit into anyways, and do what the hell we want. Be true to yourself and watch the endless possibilities open up in front of you!

Authenticity means that you are being true to your values, you live according to your beliefs and you are able to show up as exactly who you are.

There are so many people out there that want certain things to be a part of their day or don't want to complete / participate in certain "traditions" because they don't agree with them or believe in them. The reality here is that pressure and judgement from others can weigh heavy on you, but you don't have to throw out being true to yourself to appease these people.

Being an Oregonian, I see many couples come to me and they mention wanting to smoke some weed on their elopement day. Other couples have wanted spiritual ceremonies that their religious family members didn't agree with. All of these expectations can make it damn near impossible to even want a traditional wedding to begin with.

Choosing to elope for many couples results in the freedom to be themselves without having to

Reason #5 - You + your partner love nature

Elopements aren't just for the nature lovers out there, but we are going to take a moment for those of you who do love nature.

If you are a nature lover that is leaning towards eloping, I get it! It's about feeling like you're in your element, grounded and surrounded by nature; it's the place you feel the most

Elopements aren't just for the nature lovers out there, but we are going to take a moment for those of you who do love nature.

If you are a nature lover that is leaning towards eloping, I get it! It's about feeling like you're in your element, grounded and surrounded by nature; it's the place you feel the most at home. And being it that realm when you are experiencing such a huge milestone moment in your life can be euphoric.

This can also be the perfect excuse to hike a trail you have been wanted to but just haven't gotten to, to knock off a bucket list travel location or to share your love of a nature-filled location with your loved one.

If this is resonating with you and you want to feel at peace, with Mother Nature wrapping her arms around you on your 'I do' day, explore your options and consider what kind of nature you'd want to be surrounded by!

at home. And being it that realm when you are experiencing such a huge milestone moment in your life can be euphoric.

This can also be the perfect excuse to hike a trail you have been wanted to but just haven't gotten to, to knock off a bucket list travel location or to share your love of a nature-filled location with your loved one.

If this is resonating with you and you want to feel at peace, with Mother Nature wrapping her arms around you on your 'I do' day, explore your options and consider what kind of nature you'd want to be surrounded by!

Let's be real here, there is a time and a place for experiencing a whirlwind adventure. But when I here adventure, I don't think "traditional wedding". Those two things just don't go hand-in-hand.

Now, adventure to me is allllll about spontaneity, trying new things and letting your curiosity lead you.

For some this might be packing your bags and traveling out of country for an elopement trip chalked full of skydiving, glacial hikes, rock climbing or literally anything. For others this might mean heading to a new city and taking a food tour or going on an elopement pub crawl. I don't know how many times I can say this, but elopements make your options endless.

Feed the adventure beast within you and go have that wild adventure babe.

Reason #6 - You value adventure + like to explore new places

Let's be real here, there is a time and a place for experiencing a whirlwind adventure. But when I here adventure, I don't think "traditional wedding". Those two things just don't go hand-in-hand.

Now, adventure to me is allllll about spontaneity, trying new things and

letting your curiosity lead you.

For some this might be packing your bags and traveling out of country for an elopement trip chalked full of skydiving, glacial hikes, rock climbing or literally anything. For others this might mean heading to a new city and taking a food tour or going on an elopement pub crawl. I don't know how many times I can say this, but elopements make your options endless.

Feed the adventure beast within you and go have that wild adventure babe.

Reason #7 - Wedding planning is getting stressful

This thought is not revolutionary, nor will I be the first to say it, but I'm gonna say it. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS!

In these times we live in, adding a day-of-coordinator or a wedding planner can be a cost that you might not be able to splurge on.

There can also be SO. MANY. OPINIONS. involved in wedding planning. The opinions we do ask for and the opinions we don't ask for and the ones that absolutely no one asked for. Moms and dads wanna add people to the guest list or special requests for food or drinks. It can all just become too much.

A friendly reminder that it's okay to say no and "No." is a full sentence. But if this becomes taxing on you mental health and is sucking the joy out a of day that is supposed to be filled with love, joy and fun, it might be time to consider eloping.

This thought is not revolutionary, nor will I be the first to say it, but I'm gonna say it. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS!

In these times we live in, adding a day-of-coordinator or a wedding planner can be a cost that you might not be able to splurge on.

There are also so many moving parts that have to come together and the financial obligation of it all can be a lot to process and work through.

This can lead to a worn down mental state. I've had couples I've worked with swap to an elopement mid-planning or throw in the towel and surrender their sanity to get through their wedding day. Those words "get through" have fallen on these ears too many times when it comes to traditional weddings I've worked.

Do you wanna be the person who gets through their wedding day? Or the one that lives through and experiences their 'I do' day?

There are also so many moving parts that have to come together and the financial obligation of it all can be a lot to process and work through.

This can lead to a worn down mental state. I've had couples I've worked with swap to an elopement mid-planning or throw in the towel and surrender their sanity to get through their wedding day. Those words "get through" have fallen on these ears too many times when it comes to traditional weddings I've worked.

Do you wanna be the person who gets through their wedding day? Or the one that lives through and experiences their 'I do' day?

Family drama can big be or small, but it's definitely back there lurking in every family. You might be the peacekeeper or maybe your worried about Uncle Bob's inside thoughts becoming outside thoughts.

The reality here is you shouldn't have to anticipate others bringing down the vibe of your wedding day and you shouldn't feel like you're waiting for the ball to drop.

The day you say 'I do', walking into this new chapter with the love of your life, should be filled with excitement and joy.

So my big question here is, why should you be bitting the bullet and powering through your wedding hoping nothing crazy happens? YOU SHOULDN'T! Take back the power and do this shit for you babe.

You won't regret creating your own adventure, having a day full of things you and your partner love to do and doing things your way!

Reason #8 - There is some family drama

Family drama can big be or small, but it's definitely back there lurking in every family. You might be the peacekeeper or maybe your worried about Uncle Bob's inside thoughts becoming outside thoughts.

The reality here is you shouldn't have to anticipate others bringing down the vibe of your

wedding day and you shouldn't feel like you're waiting for the ball to drop.

The day you say 'I do', walking into this new chapter with the love of your life, should be filled with excitement and joy.

So my big question here is, why should you be bitting the bullet and powering through your wedding hoping nothing crazy happens? YOU SHOULDN'T! Take back the power and do this shit for you babe.

You won't regret creating your own adventure, having a day full of things you and your partner love to do and doing things your way!

Reason #9 - You want to be eco-friendly

It's no surprise that traditional weddings can be a massive producer of waste. A wedding of 100-200 people that is just 6 hours long produces 400-600 pounds of waste (thank HuffPost for that little tid-bit there).

Each year in the US, roughly 2.3 million couples get married in the traditional setting. The numbers are adding up here and that is SO. MUCH. WASTE!

If you are actively conscious and aware of the impact you are leaving on this glorious marble we call Earth, then the info above might not come as a surprise to you. But for others just making their way into being eco-aware, this could be their first time absorbing this.

So if you are wanting to lower your impact and aim for a sustainable way to say 'I do', and elopement is 100% for you!

It's no surprise that traditional weddings can be a massive producer of waste. A wedding of 100-200 people that is just 6 hours long produces 400-600 pounds of waste (thank HuffPost for that little tid-bit there).

Each year in the US, roughly 2.3 million couples get married in the traditional setting. The

numbers are adding up here and that is SO. MUCH. WASTE!

If you are actively conscious and aware of the impact you are leaving on this glorious marble we call Earth, then the info above might not come as a surprise to you. But for others just making their way into being eco-aware, this could be their first time absorbing this.

So if you are wanting to lower your impact and aim for a sustainable way to say 'I do', and elopement is 100% for you!

Being put in a box is downright scary and there is a lot about traditional weddings that can have that affect. There can be so much beauty in traditions, but it can also be limiting for some people.

For those of you out there that aren't religious, don't align with certain wedding traditions or are marching to life at the beat of your own drum, eloping might resonate with you because it's as free as you are (or aim to be)

Individuality is important. Being seen and celebrated for who you are is important. Feeling safe, secure and comfortable with the people you are surround yourself with is important.

If you are a couple that worries about whether or not a traditional wedding would be a safe space for you, then skip the "what ifs" and the potential shit show and create your own safe space by eloping!

Reason #10 - You are wanting a safe space

Being put in a box is downright scary and there is a lot about traditional weddings that can have that affect. There can be so much beauty in traditions, but it can also be limiting for some people.

For those of you out there that aren't religious, don't align with certain wedding traditions or are marching to life at the beat of your

own drum, eloping might resonate with you because it's as free as you are (or aim to be)

Individuality is important. Being seen and celebrated for who you are is important. Feeling safe, secure and comfortable with the people you are surround yourself with is important.

If you are a couple that worries about whether or not a traditional wedding would be a safe space for you, then skip the "what ifs" and the potential shit show and create your own safe space by eloping!

Reason #11 - You want to be married...like, now!

Heyyy, this was my partner and me. After we ditched the idea of a traditional wedding, the next question we asked ourselves was, "What are we waiting for then?". From the day we got engaged to the day we got married was 3 months.

For some people out there, marriage is about the commitment and knowing

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Heyyy, this was my partner and me. After we ditched the idea of a traditional wedding, the next question we asked ourselves was, "What are we waiting for then?". From the day we got engaged to the day we got married was 3 months.

For some people out there, marriage is about the commitment and knowing they want to spend forever together. They aren't interested in the big wedding, the lengthy planning process or holding off on getting hitched.

To that I say, "Hell f*cking yassss!"

If you are feeling like you are wanting to tie the knot faster that not, then eloping is a great option for you. Elopements can be planned quickly and have a little or as many details as you want them to have.

they want to spend forever together. They aren't interested in the big wedding, the lengthy planning process or holding off on getting hitched.

To that I say, "Hell f*cking yassss!"

If you are feeling like you are wanting to tie the knot faster that not, then eloping is a great option for you. Elopements can be planned quickly and have a little or as many details as you want them to have.

how to start planning your elopement

Elopements can come in so many shapes and sizes. This is important to remember when you begin the planning process. Some of your wants and needs might be different than someone else's and thats a-okay.

The key here, is to create a day that is centered around and aligned with you and your partners values.

1. Figure out your elopement budget

The cost of eloping can range from $2000 if you keep it local and short, all the way up to $30,000 if you are really wanting to go allllll out and/or take your elopement international.

It's so important that you go into your elopement planning knowing the tippy top of your budget. Not sure what expenses can come along with an elopement? Take a look at this "How Much Does An Elopement Cost" blog.

2. Decided the season and setting you want to elope in

The when + where of eloping is the next decision you need to tackle. Take some time to sit down with your partner and discuss what kind of landscape, setting and weather you envision your elopement in. Do you imagine lush forests and gorgeous glacial lakes, a warm sea-breeze and crashing waves, or maybe an iconic city that you can explore once the 'I dos' are done.

Another way you can hone in on a location is picking somewhere both you and your partner have wanted to visit or explore.

3. Identify your "must have" vendors and lock them in

Different strokes for different folks here for this one. Photographers, videographers, hair and make-up, officiants and florists are the most popular vendors that are sought after for elopements. But there are so many other amazing vendors out there that can help elevate your elopement day and make it something to remember forever.

I have made a list of vendor categories for you and your partner to consider when planning your elopement.

Private Chefs
Catering
Musicians
Planners
Styling and Design
Picnic Catering + Set-Up
Day-Of-Coordinator
Tour Guides For Travel Abroad
Bakers
Excursions (Hot Air Balloon Rides, ATV Rentals, Land Tours, Rock Climbing, Lake Boats, And So Much More!)

4. Book your flights + Accomodations

The next step is to lock in your travel accommodations if you are planning on making your elopement a trip or adventure. This can be flights, rental cars and your stay for the trip. Locking these things in is one less thing you have to worry about later.

5. Shop for your elopement attire

After you have your vendors locked in and all your travel accommodations situated, you should begin the search for your glorious and gorgeous elopement outfits. Give yourself time to find outfits that you feel like you in and make sure to allow for alteration time. It can take 6-8 weeks to have a dress altered and 30 minutes to a week for suit alterations.

6. Pack your bags

Before you head out for your elopement day or trip, make a packing list of alllll the things you can't do without during your 'I do' adventure. I am usually a simple packer, but in this case I'd suggest running the route of 'better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it'. This can help you be prepared for everything your elopement day might bring your way.

7. tie the knot

It's elopement time baby! You are on to having the most amazing day surrounded by the person/people you love most. Enjoy the day, live in it and soak it all in. You both deserve a day to celebrate your love exactly the way you want to celebrate it!

Pick and choose the things you and your partner want and leave behind the ones that don't serve you!

If you want help planning your elopement, hire a planner or a photographer that will either help with planning or do it for you. There are so many options and avenues out there. Explore them, stretch them and make something magical.

Book your elopement photographer today!

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Pick and choose the things you and your partner want and leave behind the ones that don't serve you!

If you want help planning your elopement, hire a planner or a photographer that will either help with planning or do it for you. There are so many options and avenues out there. Explore them, stretch them and make something magical.

Elopements can come in so many shapes and sizes. This is important to remember when you begin the planning process. Some of your wants and needs might be different than someone else's and thats a-okay.

The key here, is to create a day that is centered around and aligned with you and your partners values.

FAQs about elopements

With all the options people have for elopements, it leads to a lot a questions that need answers! So I have piled together some of the most abundant questions and have then all answered for ya!

Should i hire a photographer that specializes in elopements?

Yesssss. Yes, yes, yes. Hiring an elopement photographer that specializes in elopements means that they will know all the ins and outs and that they'll be able to guide you on this journey. Their photography style, how they document the day and their knowledge is what you should be looking for. This knowledge should extend to how to lay out the elopement day, permits you might need, the marriage laws in the location you are going and sooo much more.

who signs as witnesses if it's just me and my partner?

If you'll be having a photo and video team, they can be your witnesses. If you are just picking or the other, then your would have to find a secondary witness. I recommend finding a few amazing, random humans in the area that you are eloping in to act as witnesses. If you are really wanting it to be just you and your partner, this is the only way you can guarantee you don't have an additional people with you on your wedding day. Hikers on trails and passersby are more than happy to sign as witnesses the majority of the time.

How do we tell our families?

This answer will change depending on family dynamics, but my general advice is to be honest from the get-go. They'll either get it or they won't and that reaction is on them. You could also tell a select few or keep is hush-hush and send then out elopement announcements once you have your photos back.

Asking your photographer for situationally specific advice would be a safe bet, as they've seen a lot of different scenarios come through.

Should we write our own vows? (yes and no answer)

Yes: Write you own vows if you feel like you have a lot you'll be wanting to say to your partner and if it comes naturally. Some of us have a way with words and for others it doesn't come easy.

No: If words are hard to come by and you have trouble putting how you feel on paper, this can add stress where it isn't needed. This is where an officiant can come in clutch. They will get to know you and your partner and can prepare words that are catered to your love story!

Is eloping selfish?

NO! And usually I'd say that "No." is a full sentence but I'm going to take a moment to empower you.

You deserve to have your love celebrated in the way that YOU see fit. It's not selfish to want to spend your money on an adventure you'll remember forever. It's not selfish to want to remove the pressure of a traditional wedding. It's not selfish to want privacy and intimacy. It's not selfish to do something for yourself instead of doing it for other people. You are not being selfish! PERIOD!!!

What do we wear?

Whatever you damn-well please. And that right there is the beauty of this all. It's all catered around what you want. Does putting a white dress on not match your vibe? Then don't babe! Don't want to feel stuck in dressy shoes? Custom order some Chacos and call it a day.

The point is, you have the freedom to wear whatever you want.

Do you offer discounts on any locations?

I offer discounts to locations that are on my bucket list that I have never been to before. I will throw a discount your way if you are looking to elope in...

Thailand
The Philippines
Ireland
Scotland
Sweden
Greece
Norway
Alaska

How do you location scout if you haven't been there?

Google Maps has become my mistress and I have gotten really good at finding spots that are gorgeous. There is a lot of research on my end that goes in to finding locations that fit you wants and needs and figuring out how whether or not they are viable.

I can't stress this enough. Knowledge of the area is a huge helper, but with the proper location scouting and research, I can be just as knowledgeable as the photographer that's been there.

I also show up early to scout in person and double check my work!

What is an adventure elopement?

An adventure elopement is one where a large quantity of experiences and activities are planned along-side the actual elopement. It can involve hiking, traveling, new experiences, tattoos, ATVs....really anything. Spontaneity and a thirst for adventure is what drives this elopement type!

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I love me a damn good adventure, letting my creativity run wild, deep talks with people I love, a free spirit, a gut busting laugh with the people I vibe with, making lasting memories, goofy-ass conspiracy theories , human connection, the great fucking outdoors and being in water (oceans, lakes, rivers, pools). Being in water is where I feel the most grounded.

Woah, woah , woah, I forgot one thing! A good slice of pizza and sushi deserve to make the list as well. I didn't mean to leave you out babes.

I also love empowering my couples to do shit their way, build their ideal elopement day and to be intentional!

Get to know me!

Oh Heyyyy!

I'm sh'Tara Lynn

Check out these elopements

Just getting started on your elopement planning? Need a wee-bit of inspo to get started?

Take a look at these amazing elopements and see what inspirations strikes you. You'll be knee deep in elopement ideas in no time!

Spring Citrus Elopement In Nashville

Fjaðrárgljúfur Canyon Elopement In Iceland

Canon Beach BMX Elopement

follow along.

At Sh'Tara Lynn Photo, I am committed to creating a safe, welcoming, and inclusive space for all couples, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, religion, ability, or background.

At Sh'Tara Lynn Photo, I believe that love knows no bounds and that everyone deserves to have their unique love story celebrated and captured beautifully. I am committed to creating a safe, welcoming, and inclusive space for all couples, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, religion, ability, or background. Love is love, and I am here to celebrate yours with open arms and a camera ready to capture the magic

Hey there, I'm Sh'Tara! I am a storyteller waiting to document your epic love story. Say hello!